“Tell me! What do I do Josh??”
“Run! Run!” Johnny’s older brother yelled in panic. Every night in Amsterdam the sky went pitch black, with small twinkles shining down. But not tonight, for some reason the stars were too afraid. They hid behind the black blanket covering half the earth. Josh and Johnny didn’t notice. Like boys, they continued playing “Crash Bandicoot” on their Play Station 2. Their attention wasn’t in any way on the hot, steaming kitchen. Together, they forgot. The machine was about to explode. How were they supposed to know their gaming competition would separate them forever?
This definitely starts us in the middle of action...I love that the "stars were too afraid" to come out...that's such a cool detail!
ReplyDeleteI like the competitive nature that is captured so quickly here...dialog is such an effective way to get a reader into a character's desires and actions.
10/10